Relationship
Relationships are hard. It’s like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay.
And the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.
Pay the bill
“The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.”
“And did he?”
“Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.”
Lion on Tim’s wife
In An African Safari, A lion suddenly bounced on Tim’s wife. Wife : Shoot Him! Shoot Him!
Tim: Yes Yes.
I’m Changing the
Battery Of My Camera…
Mathematician at home
A mathematician wandered home at 3 AM. His wife became very upset, telling him, “You’re late! You said you’d be home by 11:45!” The mathematician replied, “I’m right on time. I said I’d be home by a quarter of twelve.”