Paper to eat
Mum, do you think the baby would like some blotting paper to eat?
No, dear, I don’t think he would.
Why?
He’s just swallowed a bottle of ink.
My side will win
The Judge admonished the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?”
“I do.”
“Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”
“Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”
Is that you
The new office-boy came into his boss’s office and said, “I think you’re wanted on the phone, sir.”
“What do you mean, you think?” demanded the boss.
“Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said ‘Is that you, you old fool?’” explained the boy.
You’re a moth
A man goes to see his doctor. The doctor asks what is wrong and the man says, “Doctor, I think I’m a moth.” To this the doctor responds, “You think you’re a moth? Well I don’t think you need a doctor. Sounds like what you need is a therapist.” “Yeah I know,” replies the patient. “I was on my way to see a therapist, but I came in here because I saw your light was on.”