Double your money
How can a can you double your money?
By folding it in half.
I don’t believe him
When Tim returned home from work, his wife Lissa said, “So how was your day?”
He replied, “I met an artist and I’ve never met someone so talented. He said he painted a picture of a cobweb on his wall and it looked so real, the maid tried for over an hour to get it off.
Lissa said, “I don’t believe him.”
“Why not?” said Abe, “some artists are very good indeed.”
“Maybe,” said Lissa, “But maids aren’t.”
Smart fish
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools!
Ten years to life
Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria.
“Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?”one asked.
“He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a new kind of car,” his co-worker replied.
“How was he going to do it?”
“He took an engine from a Pontiac, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from Caddy and, well, you get the idea.”
“So what did he end up with?”
“Ten years to life.”