Newsboy
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, ‘Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!’
Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, ‘There’s nothing in here about fifty people being swindled.’
The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, ‘Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!’
Different jobs in four months
“Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?”
“I ought to be able to. I’ve had ten different jobs in four months.”
If you’d allow him
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said “Mr. Tim you are hereby fined $120.” The lawyer stood up and said “Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $95 on him at this time, but if you’d allow him a few minutes in the crowd.
Every morning
“Hey Doc! I think I sleep talk!”
“What makes you think that?”
“I wake up hoarse every morning.”