Hot or cold
Q: Which runs faster, hot or cold?
Ans: Hot. Everyone can catch cold.
Lips are moving
How can you tell when a salesperson is lying?
His lips are moving.
Animal crackers
Tim: Doctor, I chipped my tooth eating animal crackers.
Dentist: But animal crackers are soft.
Tim: Not these–they were dog biscuits.
Ego and IQ
How does a doctor commit suicide? He jumps down from his ego to his IQ.