Flight of yesterday
“Stewardess,” George said happily, “I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time.
It’s not often that an airline gets to where it’s going exactly when they claim it will.
I’m going to call your company home office and let them know how pleased I am.”
“Why, thank you, sir,” the flight attendant answered,
“but I think you should know–this is yesterday’s flight.”
First Lady: My son is very well behaved.
Second Lady: How can you say that? Wasn’t he arrested and imprisoned for 5 years.
Firsr Lady: Yes, but he got out after 2 years for good behavior inside the jail.
Who is your Dad
Principal: Who is your DAD?
The mom shouts: Cmon, he’z just a kid. Ask him an easy question.
Soccer players in the heaven
Three soccer players – Landon Donovan, Lionel Messi and David Beckham – are invited to heaven watch the World Cup final with God. God decides who will sit next to him by asking them the same question.
God asks Donovan first: “What do you believe?” Donovan says, “I believe in hard work and staying true to family, teammates and friends.” God is impressed by the American and offers him a seat to his left.
God then turns to Messi and asks, “What do you believe?” Messi says, “I believe loyalty, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life.” God is impressed and offers the Argentinian a seat to his right.
Finally, God turns to Beckham: “What do you believe?” Beckham then says, “I believe you’re in my seat.”