Fighting again
Tim, you’ve been fighting again, haven’t you?
Yes, Mom.
You must try to control your temper. Didn’t I tell you to count to ten?
Yes, but Tim’s Mom only told him to count up to five, so he hit me first!
Undercover Detective
A tourist asks a man in uniform, “Are you a policeman?”
“No, I am an undercover detective.”
“So why are you in uniform?”
“Today is my day off.”
If you are an engineer
If your cup is half full, you are said to be an optimist but if it is half empty, you are said to be a pessimist.
If you are an engineer, however, your cup is twice as large as it should have been in the first place.
Issue of hardware
Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Ans. None. That’s a hardware issue.