Without using tables

TEACHER: Lissa, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor?
LISSA: You told me to do it without using tables! [Read more...]

Closer

TEACHER: Timmy, why do you always get so dirty?
TIMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
[Read more...]

Everybody wants

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. [Read more...]

I never could before

“Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I never could before!” [Read more...]

Guy goes hunting

A guy goes hunting and wants to hire a dog to retrieve the catch.

“I have just the dog for you, sir.” says the gamekeeper. “He’s called Salesman and he is brilliant” Off they go and every time the hunter shoots a bird the dog runs off and brings the bird back just as he was hired to do; a great success.

The following year, the same guy goes back and asks for Salesman as he was so good last year.

“Ah, I’m sorry, sir, but it won’t work anymore. Someone had the bright idea of calling him Sales Manager – now he just sits on his arse and barks all day”. [Read more...]

Hot or cold

Q: Which runs faster, hot or cold?
Ans: Hot. Everyone can catch cold. [Read more...]

Supermodel and Pizza

A supermodel orders a pizza and the waiter asks if he should cut it into six or twelve pieces. She says, “Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.” [Read more...]