Funny Jokes, Humor, Romantic Jokes, Couple Jokes
A young lad’s father picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked
his son if he got a part. The boy enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part. ‘I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.’
‘That’s great, son.
Keep up the good work and before you know it they’ll be giving you a speaking part.’
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On their way home after celebrating their 25th anniversary, she thanks him for a wonderful evening.
Oh. it’s not over yet, says he. Once in the house, he gives her a little black velvet box.
She opens it in anticipation, But what are these two little pills?
Aspirin, says he.
But I don’t have a headache, says she.
GOTCHA!
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Bob: This match won’t light.
Larry: What’s the matter with it?
Bob: I don’t know — it lit before.
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The reception area of the doctor’s office was filled to capacity, but the doctor was working at his usual snail’s pace.
After waiting two hours, an old man slowly stood up and headed for the door.
When everyone stopped talking to look at him, he announced, I guess I’ll just go home and die a natural death.
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John was a pianist and was practicing late one night.
There was a tap on the door and when he opened it his landlord was standing outside.
“Do you know there is a sick lady upstairs?” he snarled.
John answered, “No, but if you hum a few bars I’ll give it a shot.
A young and stupid pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. So, when he was approaching a field during the night time. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: ‘Guess who?’
The controller switched the field lights off and replied: ‘Guess where!
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A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study & said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little & get your hair cut, & we’ll talk about it.”
After about a month, the boy came back & again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father’s study where his father said, “Son, I’ve been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your bible diligently, but you didn’t get your hair cut!” The young man waited a moment & replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, & even Jesus had long hair …” To which his father replied, “Yes, & they WALKED every where they went too!”
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The patient went to his doctor for a checkup, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing. The patient put it in his pocket, but he forgot to have it filled.
Every morning for two years, he showed it to the conductor as a railroad pass. Twice, it got him into the movies, once into the baseball park, and once into the symphony.
He got a raise at work by showing it as a note from the boss.
One day, he mislaid it. His daughter picked it up, played it on the piano, and won a scholarship to a conservatory of music.
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Teacher: “Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?”
Student: “It’s 42!”
Teacher: “Very good! – And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?”
Same student: “It’s 24!”
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